I realized today I’ve been consistently blogging for approximately one month. I say consistently kind of reluctantly because I had originally planned a once a day post schedule, but life, and Lyme, had other ideas and I’ve settled into a 3-4 times per week habit. That being said it’s definitely interesting to look back on my first month. The experience has been nothing like what I thought it would be, but in the best way possible.
I’ve toyed around with the idea of blogging for years. I, like everyone else I guess, got super sweeped up in the blog boom. I have bloggers I still read that I’ve been following for upwards of ten years. But I’ve always been worried that I wouldn’t have enough to say, and that I wouldn’t have any readers. My stats page very quickly dispelled those fears, but I still worry my life is a little too mundane in comparison to others.
Take today for instance, I’m home with a stomach bug. I literally haven’t moved from one spot for approximately 6 hours. I’ve done nothing but sleep, eat, read, and instagram… who wants to read about that? But yet I’ve managed to get my words published within weeks of starting to write – so I guess someone must be ok with hearing my rambles.
The thing about being chronically ill is you begin to collect fears that you didn’t always have. It’s not like me to compare myself to others, yet here we are. I never pictured myself in a position where I couldn’t work, but for a portion of last year that’s exactly what happened and now I’ll always have the worry of what happens if I get so sick I can’t support myself. I never imagined I’d worry about not having freedom of movement but having to rely on a wheel chair for longer trips has given me this fear. Most recently I’ve begun to fear recovery; what happens if I plateau and what happens if I never get healthy?
The troubling thing is these fears are all rational when you’re sick, and as much as you tell yourself not to, it’s hard sometimes not to become overwhelmed with worry. I’ve found this blog to be the perfect remedy, not because it’s provided any answers, but because it’s put me in contact with so many people feeling exactly the same way. For whatever reason, there’s comfort in knowing other people have the same fears.
Thanks for reading this past month! I am doing a little giveaway on my Instagram so if you’re interested hop on over there and take a look!